A Tale of Two Rookies; Or, the New Orleans Saints Suck Elephant Balls

For the sake of this story, let’s just take the Drew Brees injury and toss it right out the window. Just pretend it never happened. If you’re a Saints fan I bet you’re already doing that anyway. So keep drinking and keep ignoring reality. As a New Orleanian, I can attest to how easy that is!

As any high schooler can tell you, there are a few things you need to have when running an experiment. You have to have a hypothesis, or idea you can test. We’ll get to that in a second.

You also have to have variables. Different situations you create to see if your hypothesis holds up. Our variables are going to be two rookie quarterbacks: Jameis Winston and Marcus Mariota. We’re going to judge their performance over the past two weeks and see if it supports our hypothesis.

You need a control too. I don’t think we have one of those. Or maybe the quarterbacks are the control. Look, I haven’t taken a science class in a long time, okay? Point is, we’re going to look at the two rookies and see if our hypothesis is true. Our hypothesis?

The New Orleans Saints suck Elephant Balls.

Yeah, Sean’s not gonna like this.

Okay, let’s begin!